Anger and I were best friends.
We was never too far apart.
She forced me into situations I subconsciously knew were wrong . Even through my blazing conscious, she was there, continuously egging me on.
I felt comfortable with her.
She was my defence.
The person I felt safe with.
With her around, I could never be hurt.
Through our battles, I soon came to realise not everyone was out to get me. Not
everyone was trying to hurt me.
Embarrass me. Change me. Neglect me. Lie to me.
The list of Anger’s constant comments of abuse, goes on.
It was a fight at first. Leaving Anger-Ina behind.
She didn’t like it.
We was so comfortable with one another. Her grip was tight and to be honest, so was mine. However, for my own sanity and health, my relationship with Anger had to end.
I was the person that was always on the defence. The anger consumed me. Forcing me loose my train of thought.
I was so affected by past bad life decisions that I slowly lost my self to a never ending battle.. with everyone.
I felt like I survived my life trials, which I did by the grace of God, however I let the resadue of the trials to fall, rest and settle. I didn’t think you shake it off.
We of course learn great lessons from our bad decisions, however, just a we learn and gain wisdom we also sometimes keep hold of the pain and hurt which soon creates a wall. A wall, cemented with a deep routed foundation.
Are those life trials really worth your time, attention and future?
I’ve realised it definitely wasn’t worth mine.
Turning away from anger defiantly wasn’t easy. I struggled and still do till this day!
But I can tell you it became much easier with time, a lot of prayer and persistant analysing of myself.
I can truly say God really did change me. Actually scrap that. He didn’t change me, but truly made me into the person I once was. The person before the storms and before the trials of life hit me.
He reminded me of who I am.
Who are you?
Many of you reading my post may not nescarilly be Christian but I really do find prayer and meditation can work for anyone. Just talk your worries out loud. You may not think anyone is listening. But trust me, he is.