I was recently listening to Bishop TD Jakes sermon and he spoke on confrontation. He expressed that people believe being a confrontational person means you are angry and aggressive. However, that is not necessarily the case.
People that confront in anger, use the emotion, anger, as fuel in order to confront. Being confrontational in that way doesn’t necessarily mean the individual is braver than the individual who may not confront. Without the anger would the confrontation occur?
In the past I would shy away from any sort of confrontation and would relate it to being an aggressive person.
“I don’t want to come across as an angry person”, “ I’ll just ignore it and hope it goes away”.
Things would happen that I may not agree with, at School, Uni or work. But with the fear of coming across as aggressive or the worry of being disliked I would just sit and ignore.
However, with growth, physically and mentally, I learnt to confront my fear of expression and put myself first.
How to confront successfully
Whatever it may be, if it is affecting your peace of mind, it needs to be confronted. It could be at work, a noisy neighbour or your own personal issues.
As said above, I was absolutely terrified of it, confronting. Even now, the simplest expression of disagreement or act of addressing an issue, would literally make my insides quiver. I would either hand the task to someone else, not address it at all, or talk to the individual but not actually address the issue, however, instead just beat around the ever so massive bush!
The stages below helped me to confront effectively:
1. Bullet point your main points to address
2. Don’t ask for a second opinion – People’s opinions will add doubt – If! you do, ensure they are a positive, open minded, individual
3. Don’t confront whilst angry – Compose, think, address.
4. Don’t over think it, act quickly
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. – 2 Timothy 1:7